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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Suffocated

Author:	diamonds_2_dust
ASL Info:	15/m/Eugene Oregon
Elite Ratio:	3.47 - 105 /161 /35
Words:	163

Class/Type:	Poetry /
Total Views:	939
Average Vote:	4.0000
Bytes:	1059

Description:

i tried to fall in love again... 2 months... close... love... we were so close to each other... and her parents had debts, so they had to move... fuck, couldn't she stay here?!... they barely even feed her... God damn them... to the deepest fucking circle of hell...

tell me it will end... that someone will come and not kill me...

Suffocated

Broken and shattered
again and again
i'm plagued and tormented:
will it ever end?
just when i thought it was over
i thought i could breath
you called me one morning
saying "we have to leave"
I ran to your place
it wasn't even day
but i showed up in time
to see you drive away
after all that i had
and all that you gave
but your parent
had depts to pay
and so they simply
ran away
taking you with them
...leaving me...

May God fuck you
to the deepest depths of hell
where all darkness consumes
and only time will tell
if you'll ever see the light of day
to see you're bodies
slowly decay
eaten by magots
and covered in blood
may you be punished
for taking my love...

Just when hope is near
it spits in your face
i was starving
but given only a taste...

Submitted on 2006-04-15 19:34:35 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

Nice. It has a driving force, perhaps the pain of a lost love never explored to it's fullest, or maybe a great travesty that forever changed your life, but the best part is that only the poet knows, it's a beautiful thing. I only wish I could say more but it left me dumbfouded. (In a good way...)

Acid

| Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by Acid | [ Reply to This ]

thanks for commenting on my lyrics and making it so heart felt!!

this was amazing, at first admitidly it seemed a little cliché and then it kicked in and gave me a jolt i had to read again. i really felt the passion and could relate as this was well written!

God Bless you too!! ;)

| Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]

wow, this was soo.... i can't find the word. I loved how it started out with a feeling of loneliness, and longing, and then it turned into anger and bitterness. I am sorry that she left you right after you started to really like her. but look on the bright side, everything happens for a reason, and this happened because she wasn't for you, or some other reason realated to that idea. my favorites parts were when you used the words " plague, tormented, decay, maggots" I think that it really captured the fact that you are so heart broken. I wish i could relate, but i can't. just remember to pray away your sadness because in the end the only one that is really there for you is God. I hope you recover 100%
~alyssa~

| Posted on 2006-04-15 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]

first I would like to thank you for your wonderfully enthusiastic comment the other day!! I'm glad that you enjoy my dark writing style so much!! now onto my comment to you- honestly? I personally feel that you have more talent/potential than most adult poets that I have viewed- you have a natural ability for rhyme and rhythm- a rare gift in my eyes. All things withstanding- This level of talent at this early an age is amazing!, if you keep writing I am sure that someday you could really make your mark on the poetic world!!

| Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by nox_angelus | [ Reply to This ]

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Suffocated

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Suffocated

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