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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Remember the Warmthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ConScribe
    ASL Info:    19/M/Tucson,AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.11 - 262/360/143
    Words: 223
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 204
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1470



    Description:
       


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    dotsRemember the Warmthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Remember when we use to spit watermelon seeds under stars,
    sending them sailing into the Summer sky,
    guided by the sound of laughter lifting off the lawn?
    Remeber how we stayed awaked,
    pillowfights from dusk till dawn?
    Remember when we swam in our own pleasure
    and dug for pebbles with our toes?
    Remember all the fish we caught,
    and the thousands we freed?

    Remember the hot cocoa that calmed after we killed
    one another in a friendly snowball fight?
    Remember when we used to iceskate
    till our hearts were numb,
    and frostbitten by friendships,
    freezing with the warmth within?
    Remember the fires and the fields,
    and the fire flies flying free like phantoms?
    Remember how you use to keep them in a jar?
    Remember how you cried,
    And I couldn't help but follow your lead?
    Remember how the hot tears of happiness felt?

    Remember the B.B. gun battles,
    or the broken bones we laughed to help heal?
    Remember all the falls,
    or the scars that followed,
    the rocks we threw
    or the bugs we shallowed?
    Remember the tree house
    we called Fort Sumter?

    Remember the power of our palm pact?
    Remember,
    remember the blood?
    Remember how it felt,
    when we crossed our cuts,
    and couldn't care less?





    Submitted on 2006-04-16 22:11:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yes I "Remember The Warmth." I regret that in becoming adult we forget the child within.
    Yet I still catch fireflies in jars and bravely smile at a scratch. Perhaps if we adults acted childlike more often the world would not be in the terrible mess it finds itself in.
    Thanks for bringing back the old days to me.
    | Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      nice alliteration. I really liked this. You know, time seemed to go so much slower when you were a small child. I can only imagine how much faster it'll get when I get out of school and actually get a job. :( oh well.

    Anyway, there were a few times when you wrote "use to," ...I think it should be "<B>used</B> to."

    "Remeber how we stayed awaked,
    pillowfights from dusk till dawn"

    should be "Remember" and "awake" and "pillow fights."

    Those are just insignificant things. They definitely didn't take away from the emotion of the piece. This is one of the best poems I've read on here. Thanks.
    | Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by gargleafg | [ Reply to This ]
      remembering leads to more remembering... a dangerous (ly delicious) path of nostalgic stones to step. and the constant question, Remember? throughout this peice makes it impossible not to, even though i may not have been there before. perhaps the collective memory active in me.

    this makes me think of a ray bradbury book i read called 'dandalion perfume...' it encapsulates the lovely long days of childhood, where from the outside, children look powerless, but inside us we each knew we were the ones ruling the world.
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by SadieMae | [ Reply to This ]



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