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    dots Submission Name: wide-eyed fairy tales.dots

    Author: denial
    Elite Ratio:    5.76 - 119/82/34
    Words: 264
    Class/Type: Story/Longing
    Total Views: 1121
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1475

       improv shittazzzz.
    i'm trying to get into my drama moood. especially since i'm exceptionally inspired by pete/carl angst smut, and coincidental Cursive songs. Now i've even got a visual.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswide-eyed fairy tales.dots

    He leaned on me. Head back. and asleep. We were high. We were almost always high. It just seemed right to updo your experiences with people(just him) that make you feel as if you weren't really alive. Chemical interventions seemed sort of harmless after the sort of unintentional affect he had on me. Only when he was telling me about his dreams to nowhere, and his love for something intangeable were I somewhat superior. I could still see realism, and how dark his hair was, and the number of cigarrettes we ate but could not really afford. He was lost, always consumed and content, and knowing. He spoke of far away places, places I truthfully would only want to be if he was taking me. I don't believe I was in love in him. Just sometimes, when it's really cold outside, or when we were really tired from staying mad awake all night after a gig, or when now with him humming and me laughing not sure whether I was pulling him in or pushing him off, I wouldn't mind. Maybe it was his tragic, his makeup, his constant slurring that made me less boring. We couldn't settle, I couldn't leave, and he couldn't be it.
    He couldn't really be asleep, i'd miss his eyes. Wide-eyed fixed at a state of astonishment. He'd had enough practice. But I couldn't possibly see all of him through his dilated pupils when he was almost never there, so I must have been lying. I can tell myself I was only in love with his eyes.

    Submitted on 2006-04-17 02:03:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well, I was gonna critique this but you asked for first impressions, so here ya go. The title reeled me in -- I don't know why... I just liked it. I thought it was gonna be something different, something about I don't even know what... lol... but what it is is very impressive and quite beautiful. I liked it a lot!!

    -x- Candie
    | Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by teenage_dirtbag | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with candie on this. The stor reeled me in because I can relate to this. Except it was a girl I was with, and being high, and all the affects and such. It was an impressive piece, and I liked how it went. I cant critique that much, but good story anyway. Take care.

    | Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by irish storm | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the writing here was well-done (get rid of all the "really"s and "sort of"s though - really). You do a good job painting a picture of these 2. I'd encourage you to continue this. You've gotten me interested and I'd like to see where this goes. Nice job here.


    | Posted on 2006-04-18 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]

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