Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Reasondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 640
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1014



    Description:
       I don't know...just wanted to post something...this kind of came to me...I want to be the object of someone's desire...that's all I got...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Reasondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want you to look at me
    Like maybe, I'm really here...
    I want lights in your eyes
    I want a whisper in my ear

    I want you to touch me
    Like I'm a magnificent prize that you've won
    I want cotton candy and caramel apples
    I want absence of the sun

    I want a golden opportunity
    To feel like someone other than myself
    I like how I look through your eyes
    I don't think this can be helped

    I want you to take my hand and jump with me
    Into a river of desire
    I want romance and passion
    I want to set the house on fire

    I want to feel like a girl, sometimes,
    Though I am such a man...
    I don't expect you to relate
    But I hope you'll understand.

    I want to be that pillow that you hug so tightly
    I want that sparkle in your eye
    I want to be the reason that you smile
    But not the reason that you cry...




    Submitted on 2006-04-17 17:07:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you know what from all the poem i have read this one stands very different, this is unique poem, since you are the first person who has written about your craving.
    not many people like to write something personal.

    i am very lonely but was never able to accept it so innocently, sometimes every second is sacary without someone, my someone is a girl whom i proposed but was rejected and whole world came falling over me. Sometimes at sunsets and when her thougths light a candle in my mind, i feel so incomplete.
    and sometime a want to get over this beautiful helplessness and maybe find someone to fulfil me.
    Maybe i can feel the craving to be wanted, to find someone waiting for me, someone who is there when i cry, someone who can feel proud to be with me, maybe someday i will find someone who will be waiting for me, watching me in her dreams.


    I want to be that pillow that you hug so tightly
    I want that sparkle in your eye
    I want to be the reason that you smile
    But not the reason that you cry...

    well these were my fav lines and i think you understand why.

    bye
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by imagination | [ Reply to This ]
      Raivn...this is absolutely...without a doubt....my favorite of all the poems that you have ever written! I can totally relate to this right now! My heart and stomach felt so odd while reading this. I love it. I like the way it was written. Good rhyme. Great write. It's definately going on my favorites list.
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I mentally sighed when I read the title (sorta cheesy xP), but I was pleasantly surprised when I started reading.

    Your rhyme scheme was pleasant, it wasn't forced like a lot of things can seem to be on here... -shifty eyes-

    "I want to feel like a girl, sometimes,
    Though I am such a man..."

    I can relate to that being a gay man. :p Actually I thought you were a gay man for a second when I read that xD I like it though. It's sweet but not blah.
    | Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by rawrpanda | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    99413

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Cover written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry