Off to Disney World I will go.
Time to leave this horrible snow.
I walked to the station to catch our train,
when I found a man who was quite insane.
His face was scarred and his teeth were gold.
He had a brown hat, rugged and old.
He had a cruel smile and sailed on a ship,
a sword and a pistol, bounced at his hip.
From what I gathered Captain Joe was his name.
Drinking, and killing, was his game.
He smelled like he hadn’t showered in a year.
Or maybe that was the smell of rum mixed with beer.
I approached him, with a grin on my face,
and asked, “What brings you to the this place?”
He said nothing, our conversation he quit.
I thought to myself, what a piece of shit.
I followed him, to the front of the train.
Sat down across from him, then I did refrain,
from saying a word, just sat and stared.
Until he said, “Arrrgh! Do Ye be scared!?”
I responded, “No. Just curious you see.
I never thought this would happen to me.
Face to face with a pirate so grand,
You’ve probably traveled every inch of this land.”
He cracked a smile and without fail,
he began to tell the most marvelous tale.
Of a pirate, who was greater than he.
A man so feared the captain of the sea.
And so here is where his story began,
of the great Captain Morgan and his master plan.

Captain Morgan was crazy and cruel,
he had broken every man-made rule.
Everyone feared him, and knew his name,
no other pirate had achieved his fame.
He sought out to rid the sea,
of every vessel that tried to flee.
Until one day a ship so true,
ventured towards him, out of the blue.
He stood on deck, and yelled with all his might,
“Turn around stranger, les Ye want to fight!”
The man replied, “Eh Mon. I not from dis land.
I hail from Jamaica, the island tis grand.”
This interested Captain Morgan you see,
what’s better than an island for free?
So he followed this stranger for a couple of days,
they turned and they drifted in all different ways.
They arrived at the island, before the sun had gone down.
He walked through a little, crazy old town,
to a mansion up high, overlooking the beach,
when he turned, and gave the whole town a speech.
“This place would make a good home for me,
I’m beginning to tire of sailing the sea.
The ruler of this…Arrrgh!…I will be!
But I’d better get a drink on the count of three!”
To his ultimate horror and his greatest fear,
the people declared, “We have no liquor here!”
Now pirates don’t cry, they find that queer,
but below Morgan’s eye dropped a single tear.
“No liquor! What!? Have you people gone mad!
This is the worst day I’ve ever had!”
He ran to a building, and shut the door,
they heard from Captain Morgan no more.
Until one day, he came out with a keg,
he set it down, and propped up his leg.
“Come, everyone, and take a drink,
take a swig and tell me what you think!”
They came and they drank, and before they knew,
they were dancing and singing like drunk people do.
Meanwhile the Captain, began to bottle his brew.
He put his face on the label, and his name too.
He began to walk towards his boat, and the people cried,
“Why are you leaving? You have just arrived!”
“I have made you my liquor, I have left my mark.
It is time for a quest, for me to embark.
I shall travel the world, and give rum for free,
Ho! Ho! The pirate’s life for me!

So the next time you go to the bar or the store,
look for his bottle when you walk through the door.
Take a giant swig and remember this man.
The great Captain Morgan and his master plan.

©2006 Travis Seibel