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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tears of Fear
    ASL Info:    28/F/Orlando
    Elite Ratio:    3.7 - 7/8/5
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Personal Quotes/Depressed
    Total Views: 160
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 490



    Description:
       i am looking to realease all my feelings. it is all i seek. post a comment if you wish. i will greatly appreciate it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYoudots
    -------------------------------------------


    You are the reason i am alive.
    you are the reason i breath.
    you are the happiness in the soul.
    you are the pain in my heart.
    you are the butterflies in my stomach.
    you are the light of my life.
    you are the blood in my veins.
    you are the stars in the sky.
    you are the moon way up high.
    you are the waves in the ocean.
    you are the sand on the beach .
    you are the one in my mind.
    you are the one that i love




    Submitted on 2006-04-18 17:31:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thats so pretty. I love it.

    And although I enjoyed the whole thing, I think my favorite part is:

    "you are the happiness in the soul.
    you are the pain in my heart."

    That is gorgeous. What else can I say?

    Beautifully done
    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an extended way to tell someone, "You're everything to me." Seriously I think its touching but you need something more. This is just saying, well, that this person is everything. If you are going to make a whole poem on this put some difference in the lines. starting every line with "You are" for maybe one or two lines which repeat once in a while throughout a poem is fine but having the whole poem based around "You are" is just... lacking. I mean, its got meaning, but not substance.
    | Posted on 2006-04-18 00:00:00 | by SI | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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