[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Will It Last?dots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 462
    Average Vote:    3.5000
    Bytes: 414

        Also wrote this a long time ago... It's not my usual style...It's an acrostic poem...The first letter of each line spells out a word or phrase...

    This was right when Tony and I first got together...I had lots of questions in my head...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWill It Last?dots

    Would you still love me
    If I refused to tell you that I
    Loved you, or would you
    Leave, never to return to my arms?

    I wonder what you would say if I
    Told you that I couldn't imagine life without you.

    Love me now
    As if it's the last time you'll have the chance.
    Show me how you truly feel.
    Tell me that we're forever.

    Submitted on 2006-04-19 08:26:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh boy. You probably won't believe this but I can relate to this more than ever now. It goes along with one of the "secret" issues I am dealing with right now.

    I like how the first letters of each line spell out a phrase.

    This was really nice.
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice little thingy you've got here. The flow is a little forced, but taking into account the type of poem it is, it would be very difficult to make it sound natural. We used to be obsessed with these things at school and wrote them in all kinds of group diaries and such. Thanks for the reminder. I like it!
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by Angie444 | [ Reply to This ]
      this seems to be a work in progress maybe? the lines are alittle of in meter, but mayeb you have a style of writing that i sometimes get into that just doesnt have one.

    ok the poem itself reminded m f some fights my BF and i have been having lately. one and off kind of thing you know? but anyways he has asked me to say what you are asking who ever you are talking to, to say. life is alwas more complicated than its meaning.


    p.s. phraseage (i know it isnt a word....)
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by chilz | [ Reply to This ]
      Ya know...I've never been one of those guys that flaunts that "I love you" phrase to women that stimulate me... either physically or mentally. But I understand how people say it to one another just in hopes of keeping a certain aspect of a friendship alive, ya know? Anyway, just ramblin there...sorry..hee-hee!

    But, I liked the title and the way you made it flow down the page in the first letters of each line. It fit the style of the poem but did take way a bit (a small bit, mind you) from the reader being able to develop a "flow" to the write. I wouldnt change it...its a great write as usual from you...but it has that sort of "stutter step" to it in terms of flow that a literati might mock.

    But screw them literatis...hee-hee! Ya dun good here yet again.
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]