Nice little thingy you've got here. The flow is a little forced, but taking into account the type of poem it is, it would be very difficult to make it sound natural. We used to be obsessed with these things at school and wrote them in all kinds of group diaries and such. Thanks for the reminder. I like it! -Angie-
this seems to be a work in progress maybe? the lines are alittle of in meter, but mayeb you have a style of writing that i sometimes get into that just doesnt have one.
ok the poem itself reminded m f some fights my BF and i have been having lately. one and off kind of thing you know? but anyways he has asked me to say what you are asking who ever you are talking to, to say. life is alwas more complicated than its meaning.
Ya know...I've never been one of those guys that flaunts that "I love you" phrase to women that stimulate me... either physically or mentally. But I understand how people say it to one another just in hopes of keeping a certain aspect of a friendship alive, ya know? Anyway, just ramblin there...sorry..hee-hee!
But, I liked the title and the way you made it flow down the page in the first letters of each line. It fit the style of the poem but did take way a bit (a small bit, mind you) from the reader being able to develop a "flow" to the write. I wouldnt change it...its a great write as usual from you...but it has that sort of "stutter step" to it in terms of flow that a literati might mock.
But screw them literatis...hee-hee! Ya dun good here yet again.