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    dots Submission Name: Will It Last?dots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 477
    Average Vote:    3.5000
    Bytes: 414

        Also wrote this a long time ago... It's not my usual style...It's an acrostic poem...The first letter of each line spells out a word or phrase...

    This was right when Tony and I first got together...I had lots of questions in my head...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWill It Last?dots

    Would you still love me
    If I refused to tell you that I
    Loved you, or would you
    Leave, never to return to my arms?

    I wonder what you would say if I
    Told you that I couldn't imagine life without you.

    Love me now
    As if it's the last time you'll have the chance.
    Show me how you truly feel.
    Tell me that we're forever.

    Submitted on 2006-04-19 08:26:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh boy. You probably won't believe this but I can relate to this more than ever now. It goes along with one of the "secret" issues I am dealing with right now.

    I like how the first letters of each line spell out a phrase.

    This was really nice.
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice little thingy you've got here. The flow is a little forced, but taking into account the type of poem it is, it would be very difficult to make it sound natural. We used to be obsessed with these things at school and wrote them in all kinds of group diaries and such. Thanks for the reminder. I like it!
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by Angie444 | [ Reply to This ]
      this seems to be a work in progress maybe? the lines are alittle of in meter, but mayeb you have a style of writing that i sometimes get into that just doesnt have one.

    ok the poem itself reminded m f some fights my BF and i have been having lately. one and off kind of thing you know? but anyways he has asked me to say what you are asking who ever you are talking to, to say. life is alwas more complicated than its meaning.


    p.s. phraseage (i know it isnt a word....)
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by chilz | [ Reply to This ]
      Ya know...I've never been one of those guys that flaunts that "I love you" phrase to women that stimulate me... either physically or mentally. But I understand how people say it to one another just in hopes of keeping a certain aspect of a friendship alive, ya know? Anyway, just ramblin there...sorry..hee-hee!

    But, I liked the title and the way you made it flow down the page in the first letters of each line. It fit the style of the poem but did take way a bit (a small bit, mind you) from the reader being able to develop a "flow" to the write. I wouldnt change it...its a great write as usual from you...but it has that sort of "stutter step" to it in terms of flow that a literati might mock.

    But screw them literatis...hee-hee! Ya dun good here yet again.
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

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