[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Angel of Deathdots

    Author: ROSHAY9992000
    ASL Info:    22/m/fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.18 - 16/12/12
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 894
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 888

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Angel of Deathdots

    My angel of Death
    Following by my side
    With his perilous thirst
    For my dissolution and despair
    His choice of immorality over preservation
    I can see the vacancy in his eyes
    That treacherous smile of deception
    Now with the devil's fisted fury
    He violates my abstinent mind
    Now he's taking me away
    For it is my time to go
    My anger starts growing inside
    Frenzied, enraged I will be
    For a visionary transformation of pessimism
    Is a dejected reality of my life?
    Wanting to devour my innocence
    My veins start secreting my soul
    "I am draining you for hell" he said
    Now for each breath I take
    It's one inhalation closer to my demise
    Its ends with my tortured and disfigured body
    Laying dead on the floor in defilement

    Submitted on 2006-04-19 13:15:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I loved the flow. It all comes together so well. It is so dark. Theres is nohin wrong with it as I can see. Great poem overall.
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]