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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bluedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jessie thomas
    ASL Info:    24/F/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 299/338/79
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1348
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 388



    Description:
       Blue symbolizes honesty. And red all of the typical things for red to symbolize. I wrote this in a few minuets in the submit box, because I wanted to submit something. It is lacking, I know. So tell me how to fix it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBluedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I painted it red
    Because you told me you liked red.
    Not to paint it,
    But just that you liked red.
    So I painted it.
    All on my own.

    It was blue before.
    I liked it blue.
    I was blue.

    Then I painted it.
    It's not blue.
    Not honest.
    Not me.
    All my opinion
    Of how it should be.




    Submitted on 2006-04-19 15:12:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I still like it...:)
    | Posted on 2007-09-05 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very you. You want to make people happy. But sometimes to do that you comprimise your own feelings or in the case of the poem, opinions. You say that blue is honest, because blue was the color it was before, and you painted it red because this other person (I assume is Chris) simply likes the color. So to me red symbolizes passion, the passion that you had when you were thinking about what he would want rather than what you would want. So there. I like it and i think it was very lovely.
    | Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem. at the beginning it reminds me of a little kid doing something because they found out tha someone liked it. and then at the end it turned to be completely different, so much deeper did the cut run. wonderful write
    chilz
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by chilz | [ Reply to This ]
      I painted it red
    Because you told me you liked red.
    Not no paint it, *Not sure about this line*
    But just that you liked red.
    So I painted it.
    All on my own.

    It was blue before.
    I liked it blue.
    I was blue.

    Then I painted it.
    It's not blue.
    Not honest.
    Not me.
    All my opinion
    Of how it should be.

    It gave me a feeling of being a certain way for someomne and not being true to yourself. I liked it in its simpless. For a quick write it spoke volumes and I like the chidlike innocence of it too.

    Kate
    xxxx
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems like a case of someone trying to please someone at the expsense of their of their own feelings and welfare. At least the person see's that they are not true to themselves. I do think in was a place, you did not make sense to me with your wording. In stanza #1 line 3, it read wrong to me and I could not get what you were talking about. Overall, nice write.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I think most anyone will agree, line three needs to be fixed, at the current time, it just doesn't make sense. (currently: "Not no paint it")

    Red typically symbolizes a wide range of things. From passion, to hate, to death, to blood, to apples and so on. Many cultures see different colors in different ways as well. The explanation alone doesn't help out all that much, and without the explanation I doubt that many people could very easily see that there was symbolism.

    It is fine that people may have varying interpretations of things, but if something is trying to lean to a specific point, it would be best to have it so that there can be some speculation, but the point is there.
    As it is, the colors don't seem to symbolize much, to me, other than one area two people differ on.

    Simple enough, as well, to see this as someone changing what they want for someone else. Is it love, is it submission, is it a need to impress someone to get something?

    It can go past an emotional relationship as well. While you can say that the person painting the line is involved with the person who liked red and that she/he has changed it, and thus changed themself on the outside, from blue to red for the other person is giving your entire being up to the other person, you could also say this is a large run-on sentence. Okay, so why did it change? During many different "one religion persecuting some other people" times, people would have to "convert" to what the aggressors liked. While a bit extreme, one could easily fit that kind of idea into this poem.

    I think it is because it is a poem that most people will assume it deals with two individuals, out of which at least one loves/cares-deeply-for the other, and thus changes him/herself in order to appease the other. But I think it would be much better to be full creative with the setup. "I liked it blue", I liked being pagan. "I was blue", I was pagan. "Then I painted it/it's not blue/not honest/not me/all my opinion/of how it should be", but you came and made me change it to what you wanted, now I'm Zoroastrian, but that is not me, I do not feel it, I do not believe it, I see differently from it.
    Simple simple. I don't know if Zoroastrians ever were violent and converted at swordpoint, I just didn't want to use a basic religion to convert to. Basic being something most everyone knows about.
    Of course, the part where the character says he/she painted it all on his/her own would put a dent in that interpretation as we couldn't see it as at swordpoint.

    I was just giving a better example of interpretation, or attempting to. Eh.
    Just fix the third line, and maybe expand on this. At the moment I find it uninteresting, it could work better in a larger format as a person's thoughts or last words to someone, but on it's own, I find it simple. Expand on it, or change the context, change the format from poem even. It's nice, but still feels plain, which could work in a way, if we agree that the character is downtrodden, in which case the character would be less likely to be adorned/fancy, the character would be too weakened in whatever way you wish to interpret to say a lot.

    Maybe this did more than me rambling.
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah i like the poem except for the third line heh but its a nice work expressing how so many people are willing to betray who they really are and what they like and feel to please someone else and i like the fact that u recognize that in the final stanza a short but powerful piece with many a deep meaning nice work :)
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Shadows Life | [ Reply to This ]
      I see a red door...and I want it painted black... (quoting the Stones, here).

    I like this. Very deep...I really like this part:

    I painted it red
    Because you told me you liked red.
    Not to (I'm gonna change this, cause I figure this is what you meant) paint it,
    But just that you liked red.
    So I painted it.
    All on my own.

    It almost makes me think of when Tony is like...I like this song...and I get it for him...he didn't tell me to, but I did it...all on my own...it's the way I always seem to sacrifice what I want and need for him...for so long, I was the crazy, sexy temptress...cause he wanted me to be her... and it wasn't me...and it wasn't honest...so I understand completely
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is actually very sad
    To me you are showing that you have chosen to live your life for another and not worry about yourself
    Remember in order for one to love another they have to first learn how to love themselves
    This write also brought me back to childhood innocense Something I treasure very much
    Good Job with this one
    God Bless
    Ron

    And Thank You for the recent comments
    It usually is my style with my writes to use short lines exactly for the reasons you pointed out
    I do capatalize a lot of words in my writes to create more emotion
    Thank You Again
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      But in the end, all that matters is your opinion... Do things for you, not someone else. Be yourself, and don't change for anyone (especialy not me... you're wonderful how you are). I know this must sound... pathetic or such... but I promise it's not.

    The poem is beautiful. And it lacks nothing. I would be proud of this... If I were you. Since I am not you... I can only be jelous and proud of you.
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by Herrick | [ Reply to This ]


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