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    dots Submission Name: Walking in Shadowsdots

    Author: BreakAndFall
    ASL Info:    18/f/mo
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 115/153/59
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1116

       random poem.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWalking in Shadowsdots

    Why is it that my mind is restless?
    Haunting me so I can't sleep
    Drowning out my sweetest dreams
    A screaming monster I can't erase

    I'm walking in shadows
    I'm waking in a dream
    Hiding from the daylight
    Always seeking refuge from the moonbeam

    A crying wolf alerts my senses
    Calls to the lonely yellow moon
    Making me aware of danger
    Lurking close, forever near

    I'm walking in shadows
    I'm waking in a dream
    Banished from the daylight
    Always seeking refuge from the moonbeam

    A foreboding omen in the heavens
    Written up among the stars
    Telling me I am forgotten
    Cating shadows on my face

    I'm walking in shadows
    I'm waking in a dream
    Hiding from the daylight
    Always seeking refuge from the moonbeam

    Dodging glances from strangers
    I feel their eyes; they're watching me
    I feel like they can see right through me
    They see my inner hidden soul

    Submitted on 2006-04-20 09:47:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this poem very visual and its really a orignal keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by sober_x_smile | [ Reply to This ]
      ok now i like this poem and i tend to disagree with speditacture on some of the points he said ok the structure does need a little tweaking here and there but much better then ur other poem u managed to hold a decent flow while maininting some good images the repition of the im walking in the shadows stanza i didnt like that much maybe it would make a powerful finish but dont use it too much i dont think u shoudl elaborate on the monsters or anything leavinnig a little mystery is always good in a poem but a very nice write :)
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Shadows Life | [ Reply to This ]

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