Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sweep me off my feet---dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: camoflage
    ASL Info:    16/f/nc
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 459/295/71
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1152



    Description:
       Eh, I think this is rather bad, but it's the first thing I have written in quite a while. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back into the groove pretty soon. Thoughts, and comments welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSweep me off my feet---dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pitter-patter,
    My heart skips a beat.
    My vision is blurry
    And my knees are weak.

    I canít believe all the things you do to me
    And all you have to do is be in proximity
    You kiss me on the cheek
    You tell me you love me,
    And the pattern starts all over again.

    Pitter-patter,
    My heart skips a beat.
    My throat goes dry
    And I canít speak.

    You look at me with eyes so blue
    It feels like Iím floating
    And it doesnít hurt when I hit the ground.
    An experience so new.
    Your kiss, so sweet,
    It knocks me off my feet.

    Pitter-patter,
    My heart skips a beat.
    Thereís tears in my eyes
    So I canít see.

    Hold me tight,
    Wrap your arms around me.
    Itís curious,
    Your gentle kiss must be
    Poisonous
    Because it does this to me:

    Pitter-patter,
    My heart skips a beat.
    My love for you,
    Itís so deep so true.


    You smile at me,
    And sweep me off my feet all over again.




    Submitted on 2006-04-20 15:33:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      aw cute :3 I dunno, I usually don't like it when people try to say brown eyes are romantic but I guess that's jst me... *sucker for blue* <3 Coraz
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      Thats sweet i know how you feel (because of the ex)(you know who) but it was good.
    My favorite part is:
    "I canít believe all the things you do to me
    And all you have to do is be in proximity
    You kiss me on the cheek
    You tell me you love me,
    And the pattern starts all over again."
    it has rhyme but not enough to make it feel pushed and not free verse so it appealing to everybody. But good write and keep writing.
    ~Kat~ ~Crescent~




    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Crescent | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    99826

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry