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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: anna begins.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lovefatal
    Elite Ratio:    2.91 - 22/38/19
    Words: 402
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 128
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2542



    Description:
       obviously a conversation...i dunno. kind of in a weird mood. have fun with it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsanna begins.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    "the longer you wait," she said, "the harder it gets."

    but i dont know if i can do this.
    you dont have to.
    but i do, i cant....something has to change.
    something did.
    it has to go back, because if it stays like this then..
    then what?
    i dont know. but i cant handle this.
    you wont handle this.
    i wont put up with this, i wont...
    why?
    because it isnt right.
    who decides whats right & what isnt? tell me i'm wrong, tell me that this is wrong.
    its wrong, it cant be right.
    what feels wrong?
    its not about what feels right.
    its always about what feels right.
    there has to be some logic to this.
    why?
    you sound like such a child when you ask that.
    is this how you treat children?
    no. no, thats how...you know we cant keep this up.
    keep what up?
    dont.
    dont what?
    dont make me....
    define it?
    yes.
    why cant you say it? why cant you label it? you say its wrong but you dont even know what it is.
    but i know...i know it cant be right.
    why cant it?
    it just cant.
    have you found no grey area? a middle ground? is everything unconditional to you?
    if conditions exist, rules arent solid.
    life isnt solid.
    it has to be.
    but its not.
    you always loved this song.
    you didnt.
    is this love?
    i thought you didnt want to define it.
    i have to.
    call it what you want, it'll always be this.
    it cant be love.
    of course not.
    it cant.
    why cant it?
    because love cant be wrong.
    but this can?
    it is.
    forget, just please, forget...tell me, does it feel wrong to you?
    thats not the point.
    its the point. its all you need to worry about.
    you havent been sleeping lately.
    does this feel wrong to you?
    nothing, nothing has ever felt so right.

    & five days later he runs a finger across her chest, "this is the last time." she smiles, her back against the wall, "isnt it always?"




    Submitted on 2006-04-20 20:05:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is...different. I got a little confused there in the middle because I think you had both people's word on one line so I got mixed up as to who was saying what. But I got back on track. I don't know if this poem was suposed to symbalise anything or if you ment people to get something out of it, either way I have an interpretation. To me this was the classic example of how a girl, knowing that something is wrong, does it anyway because not only does she want to make him happy but she herself wants it. She wishes she can just stop so she says this is the last time all the while knowing, as well as he, that she'll do it again. It's like an inner conflict. Keep on doing what feels good or stay with what's right.
    And if I had to define what this is, it's not love, it's lust. You did a good job. Hard to follow at times but still a good piece.
    - -Oli
    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      You just keep putting this stuff out here, another jem... man did i just write that? So yeah.. is this a conversation you had, or one that you would like to have. i've never had this conversation for real, out loud with someone... i've had something similar in my head, making up what the other one would say, and of course in my head what i say flows as nicely as what you've written here.
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by graeme | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I knew this had to be inspired by the Counting Crows song because of the title. To be honest, I'm not really sure what to make of this. I don't have any strong feelings of either like or dislike for it, so take that for what it is. This reads a bit like free writing, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Oddly, I had the strangest urge to listen to that song last night (and did); it's a great song, Amy
    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      not a dislike , but not quite a like like, im left just kinda blaise about this, but it could be that is what i am suposed to take from it, neither a good nor a bad, well, it was interesting, i like that, so there you are, i guess i liked it, haha, there i said it

    ~*~amber~*~
    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by rocknpoetrychik | [ Reply to This ]



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