[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: That Kind of Lovedots

    Author: nebnim
    ASL Info:    21 - Female - My Room
    Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 284/405/75
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 850
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 987

       I got down on my knees...

    I asked the question...

    He said yes

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat Kind of Lovedots

    I've no dreams of playing the role of Beauty
    In love's reinactment of a Disney movie.
    I would fail.

    I've no longing for a Prince Charming
    Or a castle, or a steed of white.
    I'm not that pure.

    My love is a gut instinct.
    Raw and hard, occasionally bleeding.
    I don't want you to faun over me,
    Or baby me when I'm sad,
    Or bring me flowers on Valentines Day.

    I want a Romeo and Juliet kind of love.
    A poet's love.
    I want obsession.
    I want you to strike me when I want it.
    Fuck me in a way that will make me know I'm yours.
    Make me sob in pain when I need it.
    Then tell me I'm the best.
    Live up to all my passions,
    My vulgar intensity,
    My bare emotions.
    Make a blood pact with me
    Master, boy, Kindred, friend, Husband.
    Love me like no one else in this world can.

    Submitted on 2006-04-21 19:46:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      WOW! This exudes a self-reliance that is strong and direct, "I want obsession." This is a statement about you, "My vulgar intensity / My bare emotions" and the kind of man you want, "Love me like no one else in this world can." This is charged with eroticism, "[censored] me in a way that will make me know I'm yours" and at the same time one hears a cry for tenderness, "I want a Romeo and Juliet kind of love. / A poet's love." So, there is no lack of emotion here, this sizzles. In being so personal (The use of "I") and so direct it loses a bit of poetic style, is more toward prose, really, but because it is so radical a statement, so emotional and charged, it overwhelms the loss of poetic form and grabs the reader. In that sense it is true poetry.

    Congrats on the acceptance of your proposal, and congrats on thr courage to write this.

    I loved it!

    | Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]

    Lots of things going on in my head right now. One being I think it's awesome that you proposed and not him. That's pretty ballsy (sorry...) for a female to do.

    I love the honesty here. The RAW honesty. You know exactly what you want and aren't afraid to let everyone know it even if it seems to them a bit unconventional. Most females dream of the kind of love you specifically said you DIDN'T want. I wouldn't change a thing because, as I said already, it's honest, and I think that's rare. I commend you for this piece. ...bb...

    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      First off...I give you kudos for popping the question yourself. Secondly, I really liked this. It made me realize what I'm looking for in my love. And it's exactly the same as you. Thanks for shedding some light on that for me.

    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]