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Once All Had Been Said

Author: Lulu La Feyne
ASL Info:    18/female/Australia
Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 72 /101 /31
Words: 64
Class/Type: Haiku /Misc
Total Views: 1076
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 470


A collection of haikus on the subject of silence.

Once All Had Been Said

There we sat silent
Minds oscillating freely
Once all had been said

We hear the clock tick
Cutting through the heavy air
Louder than our thoughts

He knew the words well
He had said it all before
Rehearsed in his head

Softly she mutters
To no one particular
Private spoken thoughts

A million stories
The observer holds inside
Forever dormant

Submitted on 2006-04-22 01:34:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I still think of this as a death scene, but thank you for widening my eyes to a second interpretations of this piece. I really does make me think of Alistar. I do like the Haiku format even if i am not able to write in it well my self, I must say that in this case it lends itself to the symbolizism of the piece quite well. And behold the woman died, as the priest sat and stared.
Memory is a terrible thing to waste. Thanks for Posting.

Yours Truly,
| Posted on 2006-04-22 00:00:00 | by Aruemos | [ Reply to This ]
  This was indeed very good. A nice collection of well worded haikus. You kept the syllable cunt rule and you connected them all so well. I really enyjoed reading this very much.

| Posted on 2006-04-22 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  Nicely written, with a serious scense of serenity flowing through. I must say haiku is a pretty damn difficult form to write in, but you pulled it off with flying colors, congrats.
At first sight of the description I thought it would be just a collection of haiku's, but they're more connected then they appear to be. Each haiku is just... so peaceful, and seem to be continuos like they tell a story. Though, my house is far from quite, while reading each one everything seemed quite. Everyone of them had this effect on me... very well done. Spread your words like fire...

Sincerely yours with a bloody kiss,
| Posted on 2006-04-22 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ]

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