Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer Analysis

This is a song to celebrate banks,

Because they are full of money and you go into them and allyou hear is clinks and clanks,

Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hills,

Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar bills.

Most bankers dwell in marble halls,

Which they get to dwell in because they encourage depositsand discourage withdrawals,

And particularly because they all observe one rule which woebetides the banker who fails to heed it,

Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unlessthey don't need it.

I know you, you cautious conservative banks!

If people are worried about their rent it is your duty to denythem the loan of one nickel, yes, even one copper engravingof the martyred son of the late Nancy Hanks;

Yes, if they request fifty dollars to pay for a baby you mustlook at them like Tarzan looking at an uppity ape in thejungle,

And tell them what do they think a bank is, anyhow, they hadbetter go get the money from their wife's aunt or ungle.

But suppose people come in and they have a million and theywant another million to pile on top of it,

Why, you brim with the milk of human kindness and youurge them to accept every drop of it,

And you lend them the million so then they have two millionand this gives them the idea that they would be better offwith four,

So they already have two million as security so you have nohesitation in lending them two more,

And all the vice-presidents nod their heads in rhythm,

And the only question asked is do the borrowers want themoney sent or do they want to take it withm.

Because I think they deserve our appreciation and thanks,the jackasses who go around saying that health and happi-ness are everything and money isn't essential,

Because as soon as they have to borrow some unimportantmoney to maintain their health and happiness they starveto death so they can't go around any more sneering at goodold money, which is nothing short of providential.

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