Self-Portrait, 1969 Analysis

He's still young--; thirty, but looks younger--

or does he?... In the eyes and cheeks, tonight,

turning in the mirror, he saw his mother,--

puffy; angry; bewildered... Many nights,

now, when he stares there, he gets angry:--

something unfulfilled there, something dead

to what he once thought he surely could be--

Now, just the glamour of habits...

                                                   Once, instead,

he thought insight would remake him, he'd reach

--what? The thrill, the exhilaration

unravelling disaster, that seemed to teach

necessary knowledge... became just jargon.



Sick of being decent, he craves another

crash. What reaches him except disaster?

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