'An Alphabet of Famous Goops' by Gelett Burgess


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AN ALPHABET OF FAMOUS GOOPS.
Which you 'll Regard with Yells and Whoops.
Futile Acumen!
For you Yourselves are Doubtless Dupes
Of Failings Such as Mar these Groups --
We all are Human!

ABEDNEGO was Meek and Mild; he Softly Spoke, he Sweetly Smiled.
He never Called his Playmates Names, and he was Good in Running Games;
But he was Often in Disgrace because he had a Dirty Face!

BOHUNKUS would Take Off his Hat, and Bow and Smile, and Things like That.
His Face and Hair were Always Neat, and when he Played he did not Cheat;
But Oh! what Awful Words he Said, when it was Time to Go to Bed!

The Gentle CEPHAS tried his Best to Please his Friends with Merry Jest;
He tried to Help Them, when he Could, for CEPHAS, he was Very Good;
And Yet -- They Say he Used to Cry, and Once or Twice he Told a Lie!

DANIEL and DAGO were a Pair who Acted Kindly Everywhere;
They studied Hard, as Good as Gold, they Always did as They were Told;
They Never Put on Silly Airs, but They Took Things that were Not Theirs.

EZEKIEL, so his Parents said, just Simply Loved to Go to Bed;
He was as Quiet as could Be whenever there were Folks to Tea;
And yet, he had a Little Way of Grumbling, when he should Obey.

When FESTUS was but Four Years Old his Parents Seldom had to Scold;
They never Called him "FESTUS DON'T!" he Never Whined and said "I Won't!"
Yet it was Sad to See him Dine. His Table Manners were Not Fine.

GAMALIEL took Peculiar Pride in Making Others Satisfied.
One Time I asked him for his Head. "Why, Certainly! GAMALIEL Said.
He was Too Generous, in Fact. But Bravery he Wholly Lacked.

HAZAEL was (at Least he Said he Was) Exceedingly Well Bred;
Forbidden Sweets he would not Touch, though he might Want them very Much.
But Oh, Imagination Fails to quite Describe his Finger Nails!

How Interesting ISAAC Seemed! He never Fibbed, he Seldom Screamed;
His Company was Quite a Treat to all the Children on the Street;
But Nurse has Told me of his Wrath when he was Made to Take a Bath!

Oh, Think of JONAH when you 're Bad; Think what a Happy Way he had
Of Saying "Thank You! -- "If you Please" -- "Excuse Me, Sir," and Words like These.
Still, he was Human, like Us All. His Muddy Footprints Tracked the Hall.

Just fancy KADESH for a Name! Yet he was Clever All the Same;
He knew Arithmetic, at Four, as Well as Boys of Nine or More!
But I Prefer far Duller Boys, who do Not Make such Awful Noise!

Oh, Laugh at LABAN, if you Will, but he was Brave when he was Ill.
When he was Ill, he was so Brave he Swallowed All his Mother Gave!
But Somehow, She could never Tell why he was Worse when he was Well!

If MICAH's Mother Told him "No" he Made but Little of his Woe;
He Always Answered, "Yes, I'll Try!" for MICAH Thought it Wrong to Cry.
Yet he was Always Asking Questions and Making quite Ill-timed Suggestions.

I Fancy NICODEMUS Knew as Much as I, or even You;
He was Too Careful, I am Sure, to Scratch or Soil the Furniture;
He never Squirmed, he never Squalled; he Never Came when he was Called!

Some think that OBADIAH'S Charm was that he Never Tried to Harm
Dumb Animals in any Way, though Some are Cruel when they Play.
But though he was so Sweet and Kind, his Mother found him Slow to Mind.

When PELEG had a Penny Earned, to Share it with his Friends he Yearned.
And if he Bought a Juicy Fig, his Sister's Half was Very Big!
Had he not Hated to Forgive, he would have been Too Good to Live!

When QUARTO'S brother QUARTO Hit, was QUARTO Angry? Not a Bit!
He Called the Blow a Little Joke, and so Affectionately Spoke,
That Everybody Loved the Lad. Yet Oh, What Selfish Ways he had!

Was REUBEN Happy? I should Say! He laughed and Sang the Livelong Day.
He Made his Mother Smile with Joy to See her Sunny-Tempered Boy.
However, she was Not so Gay when REUB Refused to Stop his Play!

When SHADRACH Cared to be Polite, they Called him Gentlemanly, Quite;
His Manners were Correct and Nice; he Never Asked for Jelly Twice!
Still, when he Tried to Misbehave, O, how Much Trouble SHADRACH Gave!

Don't Think that TIMOTHY was Ill because he Sometimes Kept so Still.
He knew his Mother Did Not Care to Hear him Talking Everywhere.
He did not Tease, he did Not Cry, but he was Always Asking "WHY?"

URIAH Never Licked his Knife, nor Sucked his Fingers, in his Life.
He Never Reached, to Help Himself, the Sugar Bowl upon the Shelf.
He Never Popped his Cherry Pits; but he had Horrid Sulky Fits!

To See young VIVIUS at his Work, you Knew he 'd Never Try to Shirk.
The Most Unpleasant Things he 'd Do, if but his Mother Asked him To.
But when young Vivius Grew Big, it Seems he was a Norful Prig!

Why WABAN always Seemed so Sweet, was that he Kept so Clean and Neat.
He never Smooched his Face with Coal, his Picture Books were Fresh and Whole.
He washed His Hands Ten Times a Day; but, Oh, what Horrid Words he 'd Say!

What shall I say of XENOGOR, Save that he Always Shut the Door!
He always Put his Toys Away when he had Finished with his Play.
But here his List of Virtues Ends. A Tattle-Tale does not Make Friends.

YERO was Noted for the Way with which he Helped his Comrades Play;
He 'd Lend his Cart, he 'd Lend his Ball, his Marbles, and his Tops and All!
And Yet (I Doubt if you' ll Believe), he Wiped his Nose upon his Sleeve!

The Zealous ZIBEON was Such as Casual Callers Flatter Much.
His Maiden Aunts would Say, with Glee, "How Good, how Pure, how Dear is He!"
And Yet, he Drove his Mother Crazy -- he was so Slow, he was so Lazy!

Editor 1 Interpretation

An Alphabet of Famous Goops: A Literary Criticism and Interpretation

Gelett Burgess' "An Alphabet of Famous Goops" is a classic collection of humorous poetry that was first published in 1900. The book is an alphabetical list of 26 characters, each one representing a different type of "goop." The term "goop" refers to someone who is socially awkward or inept, and the book is a satire on the behavior of various types of people.

In this literary criticism and interpretation, we will explore the themes, literary devices, and overall significance of "An Alphabet of Famous Goops."

Themes

One of the major themes of the book is social etiquette and manners. Each character in the book is portrayed as someone who lacks proper social skills and etiquette, and their behavior is often comical or embarrassing. For example, the first character in the book, "The Goop," is described as someone who "talks with his mouth full of food" and "never wipes his fingers." This theme of social etiquette is further reinforced throughout the book, with characters like "The Hoggish Goop" and "The Dainty Goop."

Another theme of the book is the importance of individuality. Each character in the book is unique and represents a different type of goop. While their behavior may be socially awkward, they are not all the same. This theme is highlighted in the poem "The Independent Goop," who refuses to follow the crowd and instead "does what he thinks is right." By celebrating individuality, Burgess encourages readers to embrace their own quirks and differences.

Literary Devices

Burgess uses a variety of literary devices in "An Alphabet of Famous Goops" to create a humorous and engaging reading experience. One of the most prominent literary devices is rhyme. Each poem in the book follows a rhyming pattern, with the last word of each line rhyming with the last word of the previous line. This creates a rhythmic and catchy flow to the poems, making them easy to read and remember.

Another literary device used in the book is repetition. Burgess repeats certain phrases and words throughout the book, such as "The Goop" or "the way to do it right." This repetition helps to reinforce the themes of the book and create a sense of unity and coherence between the different characters.

Burgess also uses humor and exaggeration to create a satirical tone in the book. Each character is presented as an extreme version of a certain type of goop, with their behavior taken to ridiculous and comical lengths. This exaggeration not only makes the book entertaining to read, but also highlights the absurdity of certain social norms and expectations.

Significance

"An Alphabet of Famous Goops" is a significant work of literature for several reasons. Firstly, it is a classic example of humorous poetry that has entertained generations of readers. The book's catchy rhymes and memorable characters have made it a beloved classic, and it continues to be read and enjoyed today.

Secondly, the book is a satire on social etiquette and manners, and it encourages readers to embrace their own individuality. By poking fun at societal norms and expectations, Burgess invites readers to question the status quo and think for themselves.

Finally, "An Alphabet of Famous Goops" is significant because it is a work of children's literature. The book is written in a language and style that is accessible to children, and it teaches valuable lessons about social behavior and individuality. By introducing these ideas to children at a young age, Burgess helps to shape their understanding of the world and their place in it.

Conclusion

In conclusion, "An Alphabet of Famous Goops" is a classic work of humorous poetry that continues to entertain and educate readers today. The book's themes of social etiquette and individuality, as well as its use of literary devices like rhyme, repetition, and exaggeration, make it a significant work of literature. Whether read as a child or as an adult, "An Alphabet of Famous Goops" is a delightful and insightful book that is sure to leave a lasting impression.

Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation

Poetry An Alphabet of Famous Goops is a classic children's book written by Gelett Burgess in 1900. The book is a collection of poems that describe different types of goops, or people who are not well-behaved. The poems are written in an alphabet format, with each letter representing a different type of goop. The book is a fun and entertaining way to teach children about good behavior and manners.

The book begins with the letter A, which stands for the "Awful Goop." The Awful Goop is described as a person who is always rude and disrespectful. The poem teaches children that it is important to be polite and respectful to others. The poem also teaches children that being rude and disrespectful can hurt others' feelings.

The letter B stands for the "Bashful Goop." The Bashful Goop is described as a person who is shy and timid. The poem teaches children that it is okay to be shy, but it is important to try to overcome shyness and be confident.

The letter C stands for the "Careless Goop." The Careless Goop is described as a person who is always making mistakes and not paying attention. The poem teaches children that it is important to be careful and pay attention to what they are doing.

The letter D stands for the "Dirty Goop." The Dirty Goop is described as a person who is always dirty and unkempt. The poem teaches children that it is important to be clean and take care of their personal hygiene.

The letter E stands for the "Envious Goop." The Envious Goop is described as a person who is always jealous of others. The poem teaches children that it is important to be happy for others' success and not be jealous.

The letter F stands for the "Fussy Goop." The Fussy Goop is described as a person who is always complaining and never satisfied. The poem teaches children that it is important to be grateful for what they have and not always want more.

The letter G stands for the "Greedy Goop." The Greedy Goop is described as a person who is always wanting more and never satisfied. The poem teaches children that it is important to be content with what they have and not always want more.

The letter H stands for the "Hasty Goop." The Hasty Goop is described as a person who is always rushing and not taking their time. The poem teaches children that it is important to take their time and not rush through things.

The letter I stands for the "Impolite Goop." The Impolite Goop is described as a person who is always rude and disrespectful. The poem teaches children that it is important to be polite and respectful to others.

The letter J stands for the "Jolly Goop." The Jolly Goop is described as a person who is always happy and cheerful. The poem teaches children that it is important to have a positive attitude and be happy.

The letter K stands for the "Kind Goop." The Kind Goop is described as a person who is always kind and helpful. The poem teaches children that it is important to be kind and help others.

The letter L stands for the "Lazy Goop." The Lazy Goop is described as a person who is always lazy and never wants to do anything. The poem teaches children that it is important to be active and productive.

The letter M stands for the "Miserable Goop." The Miserable Goop is described as a person who is always unhappy and never satisfied. The poem teaches children that it is important to be grateful for what they have and not always want more.

The letter N stands for the "Noisy Goop." The Noisy Goop is described as a person who is always making noise and disturbing others. The poem teaches children that it is important to be quiet and respectful of others.

The letter O stands for the "Obstinate Goop." The Obstinate Goop is described as a person who is always stubborn and never wants to listen to others. The poem teaches children that it is important to listen to others and be open-minded.

The letter P stands for the "Proud Goop." The Proud Goop is described as a person who is always bragging and showing off. The poem teaches children that it is important to be humble and not brag about their accomplishments.

The letter Q stands for the "Quarrelsome Goop." The Quarrelsome Goop is described as a person who is always arguing and fighting with others. The poem teaches children that it is important to get along with others and not argue or fight.

The letter R stands for the "Rude Goop." The Rude Goop is described as a person who is always rude and disrespectful. The poem teaches children that it is important to be polite and respectful to others.

The letter S stands for the "Selfish Goop." The Selfish Goop is described as a person who is always thinking about themselves and not others. The poem teaches children that it is important to think about others and be selfless.

The letter T stands for the "Talkative Goop." The Talkative Goop is described as a person who is always talking and never listening. The poem teaches children that it is important to listen to others and not just talk all the time.

The letter U stands for the "Ungrateful Goop." The Ungrateful Goop is described as a person who is never grateful for what they have. The poem teaches children that it is important to be grateful for what they have and not always want more.

The letter V stands for the "Vain Goop." The Vain Goop is described as a person who is always concerned about their appearance and what others think of them. The poem teaches children that it is important to be confident in themselves and not worry about what others think.

The letter W stands for the "Worrying Goop." The Worrying Goop is described as a person who is always worrying and never relaxed. The poem teaches children that it is important to be calm and not worry too much.

The letter X stands for the "eXtraordinary Goop." The eXtraordinary Goop is described as a person who is unique and different from others. The poem teaches children that it is okay to be different and embrace their uniqueness.

The letter Y stands for the "Yawning Goop." The Yawning Goop is described as a person who is always tired and yawning. The poem teaches children that it is important to get enough sleep and rest.

The letter Z stands for the "Zany Goop." The Zany Goop is described as a person who is silly and funny. The poem teaches children that it is important to have fun and be silly sometimes.

In conclusion, Poetry An Alphabet of Famous Goops is a classic children's book that teaches children about good behavior and manners. The book is a fun and entertaining way to teach children about different types of goops and how to avoid being like them. The book is a must-read for parents who want to teach their children about good behavior and manners in a fun and engaging way.

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