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The Stupid Jerk I'm Obsessed With Analysis



Author: poem of Maggie Estep Type: poem Views: 8

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The stupid jerk I'm obsessed with


stands so close to me


I can feel his breath


on my neck


and smell


the way he would smell


if we slept together


because he is the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with


and that is his primary function in life


to be a stupid jerk I can obsess over


and to talk to that dingy bimbette blonde


as if he really wanted to hear about her


manicures and


pedicures and


New Age ritualistic enema cures and


truth be known, he probably does wanna hear about it


because he is the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with


and he's obsessed with doing anything he can


to lend fuel to my fire


he makes a point of standing


looking over my shoulder


when I'm talking to the guy who adores me


and would bark like a dog


and wave to strangers


if I asked him to bark like a dog


and wave to strangers


but I can't ask him to bark like a dog


or impersonate any kind of animal at all


cause I'm too busy


looking at the way the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with


has pants on that perfectly define his well-shaped ass


to the point where I'm thoroughly frantic


I'm just gonna go home


and stick my head in the oven


overdose on nutmeg and aspirin


and sit in the bathtub reading The Executioner's Song


and being completely confounded by the fact


that I can see


the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with's face


defining itself in the peeling plaster of the wall


grinning and winking


and I start to yell,


Get the hell out of there


You're just a figment of my imagination


Just get a life and get out of my plaster


and pass me the next painful situation please


but he just keeps on


grinning and winking


he's the stupid jerk I'm obsessed with


and he's mine


in my plaster


And frankly, I couldn't be happier.






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