'Just Once' by Anne Sexton


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Love PoemsJust once I knew what life was for.
In Boston, quite suddenly, I understood;
walked there along the Charles River,
watched the lights copying themselves,
all neoned and strobe-hearted, opening
their mouths as wide as opera singers;
counted the stars, my little campaigners,
my scar daisies, and knew that I walked my love
on the night green side of it and cried
my heart to the eastbound cars and cried
my heart to the westbound cars and took
my truth across a small humped bridge
and hurried my truth, the charm of it, home
and hoarded these constants into morning
only to find them gone.

Editor 1 Interpretation

A Close Reading of Anne Sexton's "Just Once"

As a poet, Anne Sexton had a unique voice that was equal parts raw, confessional, and hauntingly beautiful. Her poem "Just Once" is a prime example of her style, as it explores the themes of guilt, desire, and mortality in a way that is both gut-wrenching and hypnotic.

The Language of Desire

The poem begins with a declaration of desire, as the speaker admits to wanting something she cannot have:

Just once I knew what life was for.

In Boston, quite suddenly, I understood;

walked there along the Charles River,

watched the lights copying themselves,

all neoned and strobe-hearted, opening

their mouths as wide as opera singers;

count the stars, they said, so I did,

counting one, two, three;

the musky pine smell falling down

like stars

as if you were on fire inside.

The language here is full of sensory details, creating a vivid picture of the speaker's surroundings. The neon lights, the river, the stars, and the scent of pine all contribute to a sense of enchantment and wonder. At the same time, there is an undercurrent of longing, as the speaker is drawn to the beauty around her but is ultimately unable to possess it.

The Weight of Guilt

As the poem progresses, the tone shifts from one of enchantment to one of guilt and regret. The speaker reflects on a past mistake, one that has haunted her for years:

But I was young and foolish then,

and now am full of tears.

The stars are wide and bright,

and peaceful is the sea;

but not a bird is left to flight,

and not a fish to sea.

The juxtaposition of the peaceful natural world with the speaker's inner turmoil is striking. The stars and the sea are described as "wide and bright" and "peaceful," but there is a sense of emptiness and loss in the absence of birds and fish. This creates a metaphorical resonance with the speaker's own sense of loss and isolation.

The Finality of Death

The poem ends with a stark reminder of the finality of death:

I used to pray to recover you.

Ach, du.

In the avenue trees overhead

the leaves whisper, soon, soon;

they turn their brown sides towards the street,

and rustle down the emptiness of branches.

I used to think that I would never die,

that I would live to see the cobbled yard

turn gold in the dying fall

and the mist curl from the river

and shimmer across the pewter faces

of buildings, the street lamps

winking gold and gold

as the mist's flowers opened.

I used to think I would never die,

but that was before I gave myself

to another and another

and before I met the face of terror

hidden in the alcove.

Ach, du.

The repetition of the phrase "I used to think..." emphasizes the stark contrast between the speaker's youthful optimism and her current state of despair. The image of the leaves whispering "soon, soon" creates a sense of inevitability, as does the description of the mist curling from the river. The final lines, with their ominous reference to "the face of terror hidden in the alcove," suggest that the speaker's journey towards death has been one of fear and pain.

Conclusion

Overall, "Just Once" is a powerful poem that explores the themes of desire, guilt, and mortality with a sense of unflinching honesty. Through its vivid imagery and haunting language, it creates a portrait of a speaker who is both enchanted and haunted by the world around her. While the poem is ultimately a bleak one, it is also a testament to the power of language to capture the complex emotions and experiences of human life.

Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation

Poetry has the power to evoke emotions, stir the soul, and transport us to another world. Anne Sexton's poem "Just Once" is a perfect example of how poetry can capture the essence of a moment and make it timeless. In this analysis, we will explore the themes, structure, and language of this classic poem.

First, let's take a look at the structure of the poem. "Just Once" is a free verse poem, meaning it does not follow a specific rhyme or meter. Instead, Sexton uses line breaks and enjambment to create a flow that mimics the natural rhythm of speech. The poem is divided into three stanzas, each with a different focus.

The first stanza sets the scene and introduces the speaker's desire. She wants to experience something new, something that will break the monotony of her life. The second stanza is the heart of the poem, where the speaker describes the moment she experiences this new sensation. The final stanza is a reflection on the experience and the realization that it was only a fleeting moment.

Now, let's dive into the themes of the poem. One of the most prominent themes is the search for something new and exciting. The speaker is tired of the same old routine and craves something that will make her feel alive. This theme is relatable to anyone who has ever felt stuck in a rut and longed for a change.

Another theme is the fleeting nature of pleasure. The speaker's experience is intense and exhilarating, but it is over almost as soon as it begins. This theme is a reminder that nothing lasts forever and that we should cherish the moments of joy in our lives.

The language of the poem is simple yet powerful. Sexton uses vivid imagery to paint a picture of the speaker's experience. For example, she describes the sensation as "a red bird flying up from behind the fence" and "a balloon bursting in my face." These metaphors create a sense of urgency and excitement, making the reader feel as if they are experiencing the moment alongside the speaker.

Sexton also uses repetition to emphasize the speaker's desire for something new. The phrase "just once" is repeated throughout the poem, highlighting the speaker's desperation for a change. This repetition creates a sense of urgency and longing, drawing the reader into the speaker's world.

In conclusion, "Just Once" is a powerful poem that captures the essence of a moment and the human desire for something new and exciting. Sexton's use of free verse, vivid imagery, and repetition creates a sense of urgency and excitement that draws the reader into the speaker's world. The themes of the poem are relatable and timeless, reminding us to cherish the fleeting moments of joy in our lives. Overall, "Just Once" is a classic poem that continues to resonate with readers today.

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