Reflection Analysis

The light that spills through the crack in the door
     Illumines only her face
          And my grandmother smiles
       If only all of life was this easy
         To only be a child forever
     With nothing to care about
    And nothing to lose

Every day in the schoolyard
     There was kickball
               Dodge ball
                    Hopscotch
         Friends were many, we were all the same
          And nobody ever cried
     When mothers called us home

Be the best, they told us
     Second place is never good enough
          There is no second chance
           Your life is what you make it
     Make it better than mine
         Make it more
Than you can be, and break your own stars.

The war of nineteen years, is everybody's battle
     Survivors win a sheet of paper that says:
               You are free; you can go;
               Get away; run
And we lose everything you've ever made
          Temporary friends
               Provisional lives

And there were so many choices
     And I didn't know what foot
          To start on
     And what foot would follow
               And where the paths
     Would
          Lead me

I always had a dream
     What if it never happens?
          What if I never find
          Me
Within my frantic
               Ramblings along
          The way

There would be no world left
     If I never fell in love
            What if I never
        Get the chance to see
     Them
And love them
     And love me

Why do those kisses
     Always seem so
          Staccato
     So ceaseless
And so
Very
     Complete

Maybe sometime
     I will have a child
    Though it is not what
          I would call a good time
     To shove a watermelon
          Through a
               Straw

So many things to do
     And there is never enough time
     And every breath I take is closer
          To the final draw
     So many places
To leave
     My proof of life

What I need?
     Security
           I can not
       Be in wanting
   In lacking
     In greed
Or lust

I need to give everything I have
     To them
          My family
     My parts of me
It would kill me to not be there
     To see them live
The way I have yet to live

I am afraid of change
     Everything I do I
   Do the same
                 Every day
      Is only
    A mirror
Of the last

And every day
     As I grow I learn
     A little more about myself
          And I know I need
More than myself
I must not
          Be alone

I never want to be
     Unable to be me
      My child is still there
  Somewhere down inside
If only
     I was me
  One last time

The light that spills through the crack in the door
     Illumines only her face
          If only all of life were this easy
   Someday she will know
          And I smile
               At my beautiful granddaughter
          Fulfilled


Submitted by Chris Adams

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